Growing up my mom dressed me as girly as she could until age 5- until I started school.
Then things changed.
She transitioned into dressing me a little more boyish. Or maybe she was covering me up. I honestly don’t know.
I can’t remember if I liked or disliked the way I dressed when I was younger than 10. But I do remember something very clearly.
Around 5th grade I asked if I could stop wearing “boy clothes.”
The turtlenecks layered under flannel shirts.
The timberland boots.
The straight-legged pants with two shirts tucked in securely with a belt.
Every day the same uniform.
The only difference between me and a boy was that I had ponytails and ribbons.
Then picture day came.
For 5th grade pictue day, my mom allowed me to choose my own outfit.
I remember the day like it was yesterday.
It was a black top with zebra print around the sleeve, blue pants and black boots- and they were not timberlands lol.
I was happy that day.
Style is personal.
It’s about you.
How do you want to show up in the world?
How do you want to be perceived?
I was taught to show up dressed nicely- or whatever version of “nice”my mom believed I should wear.
But I wasn’t taught to show personality.
That part i had to learn for myself.
My First Style Inspiration
As I reflect on my personal style, one of my favorite cousins immediately comes to mind.
You know who you are.
Or maybe you don’t.
But if you read this, I hope you will know at the end.
He always said he was different.
Not only did he want to be different- he celebrated it.
Especially in the way he dressed.
He took pride in how he showed up in the world.
Swagged out.
He didn’t care if people liked it or understood it.
He did it anyway, with confidence and a smile that beamed.
He was fearless.
And I loved that about him.
He took me under his wing like his little sister and taught me lessons about style i still carry with me today.
Never wear what others are wearing.
Wear the opposite.
Create your own trend.
Your own lane.
You are the leader.
The trendsetter.
Be innovative.
He played around with colors and patterns that confused people.
Family and friends didnt always understand his outfis. But somehow, he made them cohesive.
The method to his madness lol. And through it all, he stayed true to who he was..
He knew who he was.
He knew who he wanted to become.
And he stood firm in it.
What I Lacked
I had an example of confidence.
I had inspiration,
I had a teacher.
I had a mentor when it came to style.
He could have been everything i needed.
But the truth is-
I didn’t have the courage
I didn’t have the confidence.
Instead I had doubts.
Doubt I could do what he did.
Doubt that I could be what he was.
Simply…… himself.
That little girl needed to know it was ok to be different too.
She needed encouragement instead of dismissal.
She needed someone to tell her: You dont have to shrink to be accepted.
Honoring My Too Muchness
Now I choose differently.
I choose to honor that little girl.
And I choose to honor my cousin.
His lessons.
His freedom.
His FEARLESSNESS.
His CONFIDENCE.
Be different.
Show up how you want.
Loud, proud with a smile that beams.
Because no one can take that away.
Own it.
Swagged out- your way.
He was an inspiration then and he’s still an inspiration now.
So this is me giving you the flowers you deserve.
Thank you for influencing me.
I hope I can make you proud during my exploration of my too muchness.
I learned from the best.
Go check him out below.
